It's a new year

Holaaaa!
Here is a quick look at my day today! Just another medical camp ...plus a SWEET sand-drawing-picture-thing contest! Amazing. These creations are part of the Diwali festival and they are incredible. We were sitting at the front of this huge village, handing out prizes and I think every part of me was smiling. It really was a beautiful experience. I LOVE this country and I LOVE the people.... I think you get it. I feel fabulous. Much love

Me + the CFI doctors. I look like a creep

Art work!

What do YOU think...

Is there anything more dangerous than a group of seven year old boys with A LOT of fireworks? ....... I will give someone a tap recital and a big cake if they can come up with an answer, because I don't think there is one. India is currently celebrating the Diwali festival, which is very much like Christmas (except without the Jesus part and the litres of whiskey) and everyone is very excited. The first few days I remember walking around thinking " Oh isn't this lovely, everyone has their lanterns out and keeps shaking my hand...so sweet". Yeah ..well I spoke too soon. I felt like I was living in a war zone last night. The fireworks kept going until eight this morning. Maybe I don't quite understand but doesn't setting off fireworks in the middle of the day defeat the purpose? I thought fireworks were only effective and sparkly at night? Obviously I have a lot to learn.
On Saturday I went back to all-boys boarding school at Kamshet. It's a lovely school but is in desperate need for funds. It is currently home to fifty boys, mainly from the area of Kargil in Northern India. Many of these boys have lost their parents due to conflict in the area and were moved to Kamshet to find some stability. The boys are so lovely and I really want to get involved in helping this school out. Right now I am just writing a report of the whole situation of the school and I will probably go back in a few weeks. I guess one of the great things that came out of me losing my passport was being able to teach at this school for a week....Maybe some things do happen for a reason.
Anyway, just a quick update. I am sending out lots of love to everyone. Adios

Truckers Unite!

Hello!

Much better today! I tagged along on a 'Trucker medical check-up camp" (quite a mouthful). CFI hosts these health camps every two weeks at various trucker stops around Pen. Although the HIV/Aids department are the guys that organize these, it's not just about helping those who live with Aids. These camps hand out medication for any pain or illness free of charge. As well as handing out medication, the CFI social workers also handout contraceptives and educate the men on safe sex practices. Basically the truckers show up, get a free sex ed class, get looked at by one of the two doctors and pick up any medication they might need. It's really cool and fully funded by CFI/CFN ( no strings attached - from what I know). The truckers were really comfortable with the social workers and had no issue opening up about queries they might have had. It was a fun day and a good way for me to get back to work after my little breakdown on Wednesday. At first it was a little intimidating being the only two women in a group of 250 but

everyone was entirely respectful and mellow ...well sort of...look above for the photo of the "balloons" hanging from a truck....yeah...I guess that's what happens when you hand out birth control to 15 year olds. Anyway, I hope everyone at home is happy and healthy. PLUS I added more photos to flickr! Remember search " Katy Emma Carr" and hit people = taddaa all my pics! Adios

My "models" -->

"Paper bird"

Hello all,
As awkward as this may turn out to be, I feel it is necessary for me speak honestly here, if only to keep my sanity intact. I had a really hard day yesterday and it has sort of spilled over on to the present day which is why I need to write. I sat in on a medical check up camp yesterday at the CFI headquarters. Every week, a local doctor comes in and does a quick medical examination of the local tribes people who are living with HIV/Aids. The doctor is funded by CFI/CFN and also is able to hand out prescriptions for Anti-retroviral medication. Fortunately these patients don't have to pay any money for what can be very expensive medication. Although I feel really low today, I was really lucky to be able to sit in on such a great meeting. One lady has been living with HIV/Aids for 12 years, thanks to the sponsorship of CFI.
I don't know how to feel better. The hardest part of the entire day was to see the doctor pinch the cheeks of a one year old boy, not in affection but to see how quickly the colour returned to his skin. I saw a mother holding this adorable child in the line up and I prayed that this child wasn't infected ( and I am not the praying type). I sat in my chair and literally repeated over and over in my head " Please let this child be okay, please let this child be okay". When his mother sat down and the doctor leaned forward and put his stethoscope to the child's heart, I couldn't breath. I had to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.
I just find it so universally unfair; so unfair that this child wasn't given a fair chance. It makes me so sad to think that this child was never able to make the right decision, to fight for life. This little boy has an expiry date (sadly enough, this term is used around the office). It's so unnatural to me, for a mother to give birth to life and give birth to death at the same time. I think of my own parents and I think of how they would do anything to guarantee life for me. I think about a mother who wants to do anything for her son but literally has no choice. I guess I stopped functioning when a little girl asked the doctor to " please make my medicine sweet, not salty".
I don't know what I need to hear. I guess it's selfish for me to even feel sad; I'm not the one fighting for my life. It just puts my world in perspective. Makes me feel like a total moron for every abusing my health or crying because my friend lied to me.
Anyway, I think I am going to sleep for the rest of the day because I don't know what else to do. Thankfully I have to rest day off. I am just lucky to have my health and my family. I have really incredible people in my life who support me and I appreciate it more and more each moment I am here. I am a very lucky girl. Adios my dears.

Happy Diwali!

Hello!
I am back on solid ground. I had a pretty slow weekend but our program at CFI has picked up a little. Jacci and I will spend the next few weeks spending some time with the HIV/Aids prevention department. Yesterday we went to a village about 30 km away from Pen to attend a youth HIV/Aids awareness camp. It was really cool! The vibe from the people that run this department is very different from the people who run community development. The social workers are a lot calmer and have a knack for keeping a group of 17 year olds focused. I was talking to one of the social workers after the meeting and she said that the meeting was designed to pass on basic knowledge about HIV to the locals. Many of the villagers have misconceptions about HIV but are now finally becoming more comfortable with HIV/Aids education.
Anyway, the day was really fun and tonight we will be attending a medical check up camp for PLWA ( People living with Aids). I shall report back tomorrow.
After my previous rant, I recieved many concerned emails ( I appreciate it by the way). Everything is back to normal and I have just established how far I will bend. I have a habit of never establishing boundaries but now I have, so things are going really well. I am happy and healthy and mid way through the Diwali festival. Diwali is like the Christmas of India and everyone is getting really excited. Fireworks are being sold everywhere (dear god) and beautiful linen lanterns hang in every doorway. Next week we have a two day working week, so if you have any ideas of how to pass time in India (without a travel visa) let me know!
The pictures below are from the youth awareness camp.



















Just wanted to say thank you too my lovely grandparents who surprised me with a phone call from England yesterday. I really appreciated it and am sending all my love ( via the internet of course). Plus, I know all you students are knee deep in midterms, so good luck and stay sane.
Take care everyone. Adios

Halfway

So I am sitting here and wondering how I translate my present state of emotion into words. I'm really angry but at the same time, full of understanding. There is a sense of survival here that I will never fully realize....Okay... Whoah, lets see if I can start making some sense.
What I am realizing is that every aspect of my trip here is a money making business. From the organization that I came out here with to my everyday interactions with our cook, everyone is out to make a dollar at my expense. The short version of this story is that I have been overly trusting with our cook and it seems as if she is taking advantage. But my point is; I get it. Life our here is really tough most of the time and yet the people I have met out here would rather die than admit defeat. So things, if let go, can become a little bit of a game. I just have to start playing along.
You may be wondering why I am writing this seeing as it doesn't really resemble any of my other posts but I think it's important. No one can prepare you for the realities of living in a developing country, let alone an incredibly rural area of a developing country. I think I finally get it though. I also understand why some people can really desensitized living and working out here. It's hard to fully trust anyone you meet and I think I learned the lesson the hard way. Yet, I am not bitter or angry. I understand it. India has been amazing and I am sure it will continue to be amazing. I would never trade my experiences here, even the heartbreaking ones, for anything else. The point behind all of this, is to make sure you have the capacity to find the beauty amongst all the deceitful intentions and broken down cars. I feel like it's a crucial part of opening yourself up to travel ( the "we have no running water" sort of travel). I have discovered more about people in the last four hours then I have in my entire life. Still it seems, they aren't that bad....oh which is huge step for me, by the way.
SO --- just to recap....I am actually healthy and happy! I just had a super intense morning and I needed to share with the great unknown ( the internet and the universe, silly). I am getting weirder by the day. I have lost all sense of style and vanity. I can't even remember what a mascara brush looks like and I have...ready for this...a sweet farmers tan. My feet are constantly dirty, my hair constantly frizzy....and (ready for the shocker)....I couldn't be more excited about this. I am really excited about my resemblance to a cave woman! Honestly, I have more chance of picking up male pattern baldness then I do a man. The thing is, out here all that matters is what I think and how my strength is translated into action. I like it. Oh and if I am wearing the right number of anklets. That's also a big deal.

So life is good! take care everyone, adios

Elephanta!

Okay so these pictures are a little out of order but......

This one is from Elephanta Island off the coast of Mumbai. On this tiny island there are tons of hindu temples and caves. Very cool!

This is the entrance to the first cave




This little guy was running around exploring the caves and I thought he was pretttttty adorable...so me being the creep that I am, snapped a shot.

Our view of the sunset from the top of the boat. Sunset + little cups of chai = Katyland bliss





The Gateway to India. It is one of the most famous sites in Mumbai. The foundation was set in 1920 and the construction officially finished in 1924. It was built to 'commemorate the visit of King George V and Queen Mary to Bombay'. As impressive as it was, I had more fun taking pictures of everyone enjoying their sunday.

See ---- > I can practically hear the ice cream hitting the floor.

The weekend in Mumbai was fun. I was there for official reasons but also had a few moments to do some really touristy stuff. I also had the chance to spend two glorious hours in a massive bookstore, which, for obvious reasons, made my day. There is something special about reading a book about Indian culture, while sharing my one person seat on the train with three other Indian women. I did manage to get home though.
Although I had a great time in Mumbai, I was really happy to get back to Pen last night. Mumbai is really busy and I have become really accustomed to village life. I adore everything about living here. The people, the food, the sounds, the smells, the wonderful cows, our neighbours dogs ( evidently I have begun to hear the sound of my neighbour screaming "DOLLY" in my dreams), our bungalow, sitting on my deck first thing in the morning, the local bakery and I guess above everything, the way I feel when I am here. I wake up completely happy and I close my eyes at night with laughter in my heart. It's hard to explain why but I do really feel wonderful here.

Okay, so let's pretend I didn't sound that cheesy but inspired happiness. I just feel blessed, blessed, blessed.

adios

Giving the gift of gold

This week has been the Diwali festival and a lot of dancing has taken place. It is also just another excuse to prance around in public and in my case, look ricidulous. It has been a lot of fun. The pictures were taken in a tiny village that is currently involved with CFI. We spent the day with the women who were being educated on health and hygiene. It was a really great experience, expecially the dancing. Oh and I literally had the entire dance group falling on the ground laughing at me. Thank god my ego can take it. We also were able to join the community development team in 'community games' in a few villages. One game was designed to empower young women before marriage and another was designed to help married women with health matters. It is interesting to see how CFI uses culture as a tool to educate, by using song and dance. The villagers responded really well to all the games and even encouraged me to join in. This was slightly challenging, as I don't speak Marathi but still fun none the less. The last picture was taken in Ghote village. The main income source for this village is the cultivation of rice. The villagers beat the rice stalks (??) against the barrels to remove the grains. I hope that made sense.

India has been great this past week. Jacci and I have been having dinner at our cook's place and hanging out with her friends and family Everyone has been so welcoming here, which is really fortunate as we are the only westerners in town. It's funny to feel like a celebrity, with people asking for autographs and pictures. Takes a little getting used to. Anyway, I am officially tired of staring at this computer. One more story and I am heading out. Jacci and I were playing a question and answer game with some tribal women yesterday and the question I was asked was " Is it healthier to eat two prunes or to eat tobacco".... Well what do you think?

Adios!

OSHO!

I am writing from the Osho meditation centre in Pune. We arrived Friday afternoon and have spent a glorious weekend here. To be honest, I was a little skeptical ( haha...skeptical..me ..no way!) about the chanting and required maroon robes but after a while I let myself get sucked in. One of my first meditation classes was the Osho Kundalini meditation with shaking, dancing and lying. It was amazing! I walked out of the auditorium feeling like a complete space cadet ( in the best way). I feel like I have discovered a silence in myself that has been dormant for a long time. Wait make that, completely asleep. It is a true gift to be able to spend time here, to sit in silence or wander around aimlessly. I feel totally energized and at the same time, I have slept more in the past weekend than I have in a very long time. And hey, I get to keep the maroon robe.
Oh and FIY, if you ever fly into a country and I don't know, lose your passport and travel visa, make sure you have copies! It has been a major major hassle checking into hotels, seeing as I didn't actually make copies of these two documents. I had to make a lot of calls to the embassy to get in at this retreat but it has been completely worth it. Don't get put off by the middle aged men sporting dresses and pony tails, the things I have experienced here will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Adios!